1. Eighties pop star Boy George was sentenced Friday to 15 months in prison for holding a Norwegian male escort against his will in a London apartment.  Apparently, he really did want to hurt him.
2. Environmentalists say the British government is not doing enough to prevent the extinction of northern rockhopper penguins.  A spokesman for the British government said, “Look… we got the penguins drunk, we put on a little Otis Redding… showed them some penguin porn.  That’s as far as we’re prepared to go.”
3. Johnny Knoxville was detained by Los Angeles International Airport authorities after he allegedly tried to carry an inert grenade on an airplane.  Jackass.
4. Kellogg is pulling Keebler peanut butter crackers off store shelves while it investigates the source of the peanut filling.  Uhhhh… the Keebler elves are the source of the filling.  Now give us back the damn crackers.
Indiana University researchers suggest that even meager levels of physical activity can improve the mood of people with serious mental illnesses.  You can read about this topic in my upcoming book… “Dancing out the Crazies”.